When stuff on the boat breaks, I...

- ignore it / do without it

- take a look for anything super obvious

- ask someone how to fix it

- try to put it back together with zip ties and bungees

And if none of the above is available, I panic. Not outward panic, but an internal monologue of "How am I going to fix this thing? Poor me. Won't somebody help me?"

I have deep beliefs about my inability to fix things, so living in an environment where salt water, rain, and bashing your home into ocean waves takes its toll on everything you own constantly forces me to face myself. I can see how this limiting belief causes me to adopt a No-Can-Do mentality that leaves me sitting on my hands as I stare blankly at my broken Whatsit.

(Perhaps, in some cases, the No-Can-Do mentality is somewhat warranted. There's DIY hacky fixes, and then there is legitimate repair. In most cases, most of what I'd do would be a hack. Or insufficient in some ways. But maybe you need to know how to hack it before you can do it the right way? In this way, you end up with a cascading list of repairs: the critically broken, the hacked, and the someday-i'll-do-this-right list.)

Last week when my friend Josh was here, I saw the difference in the way I approach problems and the way he does. On the first day, as I was giving him the introduction to all the systems on board, I turned to the engine. "This is how you turn on the engine," I said, pushing firmly on the black Start button. Nothing happened. We were planning to sail that day, and suddenly the sky was falling!

I followed along with testing the basic stuff - electrical current to things. After that, there was a "hmmmm" moment, where I was chasing down fear demons in my head, and he had his nose tracing along wires in the engine compartment, cool as a cat. He eventually identified a electrical relay that seemed fishy and... "Vrmmm!" he touched something and the engine accidentally started.

I am not sure I would have ever had the determination and boldness to keep looking in the engine. I was 2 steps from calling help, telling Josh to enjoy his day on land, and cancelling the sail for the day (if not the entire week!).

Part of the challenge is compounded by having no skills in these areas whatsoever. Josh at least was more than competent crimping wires and using a voltmeter.

Another challenge is not having a go-to mentor to ask a million questions to. I've had some folks I'd consider mentors, but I sense that they are getting tired of answering questions, as they have other things they are doing.

Clearly, I still need to figure out my avenues for figuring things out.

Right now I'm in St. David's bay, which has all of 8 boats anchored out. There is a marina nearby which charges $60/hr for labor. I have a small parts shop available. I have 10 projects on my list, some of which are critical (repair torn headsail), and less critical (clean clear plastic window on the dodger). I don't have neighbors nearby to turn to, except one guy I know who is often less than helpful. Here is my challenge. How much can I get done without being seized by panic?